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Landing On Your Feet with Sherry Burton Ways

Landing on Your Feet and Putting Down Roots:

21 Rituals to Transform Your Life and Interior Space

By Sherry Burton Ways

Today is Day 5 on a 9 stop virtual book tour. From July 14 – July 28^TH. Sherry is visiting Nine Websites on a virtual book tour. You are invited to follow the tour, visit a new blog each day, meet some wonderful new friends and experience something new. Go to this page to see all the stops and to enter and win prizes:

http://sherryburtonways.com/landing-feet-putting-roots-virtual-book-tour/

Welcome Sherry!

Before I ask you a few questions about your life and the book, here is my review of your book:

Review:

Through adversity and challenge, we heal and awaken to our desires, talents and skills. In her new book, Landing On Your Feet and Putting Down Roots, Sherry Burton Ways shows us the story of reclaiming her life, her space and her personal design style voice after the ending of her marriage. Her book is filled with ideas and inspirational ways to step by step restore your spirit and bring beauty, intention, and YOU into your living spaces.

“Change of any kind can be stressful and life altering However, if you begin to look at changes and how your environment can respond and support you, it will be a process that you can begin to enjoy Rituals can be so easy, fun, and -empowering as ways to stay connected to source, to manifest and decorate your moment with ease” ~Sherry Burton Ways

Twenty-one rituals from journaling and setting an intention to meal preparation, bathing and essential oils, Sherry inspires you with an overview of each ritual and specific action steps to help connect with who you are and what you want in your space.

And let me tell you, dear reader, the photos are gorgeous. Gaze upon them and use them as part of a sitting meditation bonus. They are calming, healing and inspiring.

I had the opportunity to interview Sherry and ask her to share some personal details.

Andrea: Creating a book is a huge endeavor, Sherry. You share a vulnerable, empowering personal story. First, I want to ask, what inspired you to share your story and rituals?

Sherry: Thank you for the opportunity to share this Andrea. First, I noticed of all the self-help and feng shui book available no one was really addressing the needs of how your interior can assist you in going through major life transitions. Second, I thought through my own personal journey, I could address this and tell my story of how finding space was beneficial and healing.

Andrea: Sherry, I was blown away by the photos in the book. They are gorgeous! What was the inspiration and how did you decide on the photo for each chapter?

Sherry: I am an artist at heart so it was simple. I am visually oriented because of my background in design.

Andrea: I love the quotes you selected. This one really spoke to me and it feels personal.

“Your home is not only your safe haven, it is a reflection of your consciousness.” —Iyanla Vanzant

Why do you feel we need a safe haven to reconnect to our consciousness?

Sherry: How we feel about ourselves is directly rooted in the spaces we reside. If we are in a chaotic consciousness mindset, it shows up through clutter, things being broken and not repaired in our homes. When we feel good about ourselves it permeates throughout an interior space. Therefore, beauty surrounds us in our thoughts, words and environments.

Andrea: What are three of your favorite objects and why?

Sherry: My three favorite objects are:

A prayer pillow made by African American folk artist and quilter Elizabeth T. Scott. This was one of the first art pieces I purchased for my new apartment after my separation. It has a spiritual yet liberating energy to it.
A stretched African Art Textile from Kenya. In 2000, I had an opportunity to travel to Nairobi, Kenya and found a beautiful textile piece that I purchased and brought back to the US. I had it stretched and mounted on a board. It is sentimental to me because it reminds me of the first time I visited the continent of Africa.
A wood carved piece given to me as a gift from a very special person of The Beatles Abby Road Cover. It is sentimental to me because of my love of The Beatles and my feelings about the person who gave it to me.

Andrea: What is something you learned about yourself, in the process of writing about your transition, that surprised and delighted you?

Sherry:

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” – Hary Oliver

I learned that the woman I am now becoming has cost me people, relationships, spaces and materials things. However, I will continue to choose her over everything.

Andrea: Thank you Sherry!

The Virtual Book Tour for Landing on Your Feet continues on July 24th with hosts: Fran and Terry of BizChicks TV

PRIZES:
Visit Sherry’s website to sign up to win a prize!

* Grand prize: A copy of Sherry’s book along with her grand prize of a 30-minute H.O.M.E. Interior Environment Intro Coaching Session via Skype or in person depending on location.

* A copy of Sherry’s book along with a 20-minute Color Therapy Consultation via Skype. Color Therapy Consults for interior color is one of the first elements you notice when you walk into a room, and color resonates with you when you leave. Color sets a mood: The right color combination can transform a home or office and bring all who reside there new levels of energy. Custom color palettes for interior walls can bring happiness, harmony and well-being.

* A copy of Landing on Your Feet and Putting Down Roots: 21 Rituals to Transform Your Life and Interior Space.

To see the complete virtual book tour line up, follow each host on Twitter and connect with them on Social Media click here!

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that empowers women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is currently living out of a suitcase following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Discover Your True Potential: What does that mean to you?

Discover Your True Potential: Building an Innovative Business (and Life!)

Today is an overview and preparation for the 8 Tips to Building an Innovative Business and Life. On the video, I begin with a story about a moment when I was sitting on the metro in Washington, DC and asked a series of question:

*Why am I here?

*Why have I returned to Washington, DC after living in California?

*Why am I back here now?

Then, at the next metro stop, the doors opened and I saw the words on a billboard: Discover Your True Potential.

What does innovation mean to you? What is your true potential? Have you discovered it yet?

Share your experiences and stories in the comment sections.

Grief Transformation: Letting Go of Our Identities, Part 1

By Andrea Hylen

“To let go of duality, we must first establish our separateness. We must first learn where we end & the other begins. As a general rule, if we’re too rigid, we’re over-boundaried. Imprisoned behind a wall of armor, there is no way for anything to touch us. But if we’re too malleable, we’re boundary-less. We’re just a vessel for the world to fill. People with healthy boundaries tend to live somewhere in between.”~Jeff Brown author of SoulShaping.

Four years after the death of my husband I spent a year letting go of the physical stuff in our 11 room house on 3 acres in Baltimore, Maryland and put the house on the market for sale. A year later, I moved from Maryland to California to spend another year peeling away a layer of “costumes,” that consisted of identities I had hidden behind throughout my lifetime. Identities that I felt gave me value and defined my existence on the planet. Daughter, wife, mother, entrepreneur, home owner, Girl Scout Leader, community organizer and many more. Without those identities, I wondered, “Who am I?”

When I arrived in California, I wrote a letter to family and friends to let them know I would not be available by phone. Email and Facebook check-ins, yes. No phone calls. I was going to take time to listen to my own voice and figure out what I wanted to do with the next part of my life. I began to examine all of my past actions with a microscope and a telescope. Focusing in on the little, minute details and stepping back and looking at my life from a big picture perspective, too. I spent more time in solitude patiently waiting, noticing and listening. I learned to sit in the discomfort of not knowing the next steps. I re-connected with myself and my feelings and developed compassion for my process with full approval for crying, feeling angry, sad, and increased joy-filled discoveries of happiness. I began to hear my own voice as separate from the voices of my mother, father, children, siblings and friends. I spent less time reassuring people that I still loved them and defined boundaries that created more space to be myself.

I thought it would take me a month to hear my voice. Instead it took ten months until the separation from my dearest friends and family gave me enough spaciousness to distinguish my inner authority, my voice from the voice of others. I began to learn the difference between the messy ego-based fear and the light-filled wisdom of my higher voice. And in the place of silence in between, I could see more of me and I could see more of you.

One important piece of letting go was to release and grieve. For example, to let myself cry about no longer being a Girl Scout leader. To remember the joy of it, feel the loss of not having that as part of my life and feeling the emptiness without trying to fill it up with anything. Leave it empty and wait for the new to appear.

By letting go and releasing, my step by step soul calling is stronger. The connection to my inner voice is stronger. The need to know all of the answers is lessening. The Self-Love is stronger. I can witness your pain without feeling the need to fix, reassure and change anything in this moment. The witnessing of another without fixing is stronger.

This is the path of living life from inspiration, transforming loss and grief to access the depth of our essence. It is the path to living and experiencing life fully.

Interested in exploring loss and change in a deep 9 month process of writing? Andrea and Beth Terrence are leading a writing program for Transforming Grief: https://cssitemove.com/recovering-voices-healing-grief/

Exchanges, Gifts and offerings

Over the past 2 days (the first weekend in March 2015), 20 women gathered for conscious conversation at two locations—a living room and a yoga studio—in different parts of Maryland. There is something energetic about authentic sharing. People are willing to not only be vulnerable but to take emotional responsibility for their journeys—their losses, their learnings, their Living. Its a rich environment for anything from tears to laughter to emerge. We did both!

In the present, each voice finds it way to the exchange. In the moment, I am listening, sharing, absorbing, drinking tea and eating cookies. But later, even two days later, I feel fed, and nourished by these soul exchanges. I pay tribute to each individual’s offerings and our gifts to each other. Thank you all. Here are some of the morsels that stayed with me.

Our stories are not what happen to us. They are not the events of our lives. They are what happen inside of us.
We are here because of the people that came before us. We carry them forward.
Karmically, you cannot be a victim without having been a perpetrator. I could see myself from the position of an Observer in the moment of being a victim and my heart opened from the point of view of the perpetrator.
As an adult, you can choose never to be a victim. At the same time, you have to discern and remember to take care of the inner children who went through the experience.
I didn’t know.
All losses that occur, be it a death, a move, …we carry the loss in our whole body system and something will happen to release it.
That is one of the powers of writing, of deep exploration of ourselves, is to learn where we shut down the natural essence of ourselves.
I remember the moment—walking into the hospital room where my (baby) son lay after his second open heart surgery. My parents were having a conversation about the loss of their son. It was the first time they had shared their feelings. He enabled that space of healing for them.
That sense of loss is something I carried through my lifetime. I wasn’t able to reclaim what I had lost of myself until after she was gone.
And that is universal. When we do have loss of a person, a relationship, we lose a part of ourselves. Its just the journey of life to reconnect with that in a new and beautiful way.
Today I know peace begins with being true and honest with myself.
My mentor tells me I don’t yet fully honor what my inner child went through.
I had done a lot of inner work but its so surprising to me, just last week there was another layer. I had to be present and nourish my inner little girl. Its work, but we have to do it!
What happens after the release..after the deep intense crying or grieving? A shift, an opening occurs for discovery, for something new.
This community, this connection to each other, gives us support to do the hard work. From past experience, I know the release, I know the freedom that comes with letting go.

Can you hear the souls singing as each women speaks her truth? I sure can. The exchanges, gifts and offerings went on in conversations afterwards and beyond the weekend. There were many more morsels. These are just a few. Thank you to all who came.

An Author Interview: The Caregiver’s Companion by Carolyn Brent

Caregiver Companion Author Carolyn A Brent Talks About Caregiving and Offers Tips

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 6 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Carolyn A. Brent whose book The Caregiver’s Companion: Caring for Your Loved One Medically, Financially and Emotionally While Caring for Yourself is celebrating its big Amazon launch on January 27^th2015.

Carolyn A. Brent is a nationally acclaimed author, speaker and caregiver advocate. She has dedicated her life to preparing caregivers and their loved ones to face end-of-life issues. Carolyn is the founder of Caregiver Story, a non-profit organization that provides free medical, legal and wellness resources to the public.

Yesterday, Carolyn visited Renee Baribeau at http://bit.ly/1C6ayPd, where she interviewed Carolyn on the subject of self-care, overcoming guilt and reconcile death/maintaining stance as primary caregiver.

Today, I’d like to share with you a recent interview I had with Carolyn when I got to ask her on the subject of Caregiver preparation support for the loved ones who soon need it. I hope you enjoy it.

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Andrea Hylen: What are some of the things we should consider when selecting the caregiver and the executor of the will?

Carolyn A. Brent: When selecting a caregiver it’s best to identify what type of caregiving services are needed. The following are a few examples:

Selecting Family Member – Are you prepared to take on the responsibilities of caring for your loved one? Are you willing to change your life, as you know it to be, so you can care for your loved one? Do you have the time required for such a commitment? Do you live close by? Do you truly love your ailing loved one?

Do you like your ailing loved one? Do you look at your ailing loved one as a burden? Is the idea of your ailing loved one living with you a joy, a mixed blessing or a burden?

Selecting Independent Caregiver – Are you prepared to pay an individual who offers caregiving services for a fee?
Selecting a Home Care Company – Does your loved one need 24hour home care services?
Selecting Referral Services – Some home care companies only provide referrals and background screenings. Do you need more services?
Selecting Registries – Registries are companies that coordinate the scheduling of caregivers. Are you willing to have different caregivers caring for your loved one?
Selecting Private Assisted Living – Are you financially prepared to pay the national average monthly base rate of $3,550, which Medicare does not pay for?
Selecting Long-Term Care – Nursing Home –Are you aware that you may have to spend more time acting on behalf of your loved one as his or her “caregiver advocate?”
Selecting Hospice Care – Is hospice an option you would be willing to consider at the end of life?

More details are in The Caregiver’s Companion – Chapter 3: Moving Your Aging Loved One into an Assisted-Living Facility or a Nursing Home

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Andrea Hylen: My parents told us they have a living will and it is with the lawyer. Should we all have a copy of it? What types of things should we ask about that now so we are prepared in the event we need it?

Carolyn A. Brent: First of all, I am happy to know your parents have an attorney who has created their living will. Perhaps your parents feel comfortable with only the attorney having their legal documents (records). However, it would be best if your parents provided a copy of their living will to the person they have chosen as their executor. Additionally, there are two questions I suggest asking your parents. 1) Are all legal documents (Estate Planning) updated? 2) Do they have an executor? If not, it would be best if the attorney (third party) shares with them why an executor is needed.

When selecting an executor choose a person you TRUST with your LIFE! And you are confident —will carry out your final wishes for, end-of-life care planning and foundational estate planning. I highly recommend the following five items:

Durable Health Care Power of Attorney (Health Care Proxy)
Durable Financial Power of Attorney
Advance Medical Directive (Living Will)
Last Will and Testament
Revocable Living Trusts

More details are in The Caregiver’s Companion: Chapter 6: Crucial Emotional Conversations— Chapter 9: Crucial Legal Conversations

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Andrea Hylen: After we follow your suggestions and set up agreements on caregiving, how often should we review our agreements? It is possible my parents could live for another 15-20 years. We have had several family members live to 100 years old. We want to focus on continuing to create memories of living and don’t want to always be talking about possible illness and death. And how do we create memories of living while supporting a graceful ending to their lives?

Carolyn A. Brent: Agreements should be adjusted according to the needs of your loved one. When it comes to caring for a chronically ill person— today may be the best day your loved one or you will see for a long time. The key to caregiving is flexibility. Yes, having a plan of action is definitely something you and your family should prepare. Also remember to plan for the sudden and unexpected emergencies as well.

As you are aware people today are not only living longer, they are also living sicker—making aging and caring for elderly loved ones more complicated than ever before. Keep in mind, The Caregiver’s Companion is an extensive guide, which outlines a step-by-step process so caregivers know what to do and what to ask in most every situation that may arise.

Every day celebrate the life of your loved one—create family legacies now! Make every moment count by “Making Caregiving A Family Affair.” It’s the great memories of your loved one that will carry you through—those tuff times.

More details are in The Caregiver’s Companion: Chapter 4: Emergencies and Life-or-Death Decisions

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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Carolyn A. Brent and that you’ll check out her book on Amazon January 27, 2015:

The Caregiver’s Companion: Caring for Your Loved One Medically, Financially and Emotionally While Caring for Yourself

Thanks for reading! Please share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading your feedback.

AND… be sure to follow Carolyn tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Jackie Ruka, who will be interviewing Carolyn on the subject of self-care. To visit that “stop” on the tour, go to http://bit.ly/1C06aDI

A Gift: Wisdom I learned from my mother

By Andrea Hylen

As I was clearing my email inbox this week, I found a series of FaceBook posts that were written by my daughter, Elizabeth in 2011. For 7 days leading up to my 55th Birthday, she posted a wisdom each day that she had learned from me during her life. At the time, she was 26 years old.

From Elizabeth:

“In honor of my mamas B’day on (Oct 8), I am going to get on facebook every day this week (this is love we are talking about here), and write one of the many wisdom’s that I have learned from her.

Wisdom #1: Celebrate everything. Winning a game of bingo, the first day of fall, or your favorite song coming on the radio. Celebrate it.

Wisdom #2: If you have, give.

Wisdom #3: Laugh at yourself. You are very funny.

Wisdom #4: We are all artists, and we create our own reality. ….”If you build it…” (I am sorry mom, it is too corny, I can’t say the whole line).

From Andrea: “If you build it, they will come…”

Wisdom #5: Some people are raised with the bible, not me. I was raised with the musical. Know your musicals and be ready to rely on them when times get tough.

Wisdom #6: Community is everything. Create one, contribute to one, and rely on one.

Wisdom # 7: Explore and be amazed. Whether you are traveling in your car, through a book, or to the depths of your heart, explore and be amazed. Happy Day of birth Mom (Andrea Hylen)

(Sorry I posted Wisdom #7 two days late, Mom. I was off exploring and being amazed and my phone died).

Share your “impact” stories in the comments. We love to hear your voice!

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of a woman’s voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, a Minister of Spiritual Peacemaking, a Writing and Transition Coach and Orgasmic Meditation teacher. Andrea has discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. She is currently living out of a suitcase following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Who is On Your Team?

By Andrea Hylen

Step 4 of setting intentions after…

Choosing a few words. Making Conscious Choices. Reviewing and Staying on Track.

4. Set up a support system for success

Find an accountability buddy. Ask friends, family, peers, or colleagues to support you and see how you can support them. Join a master mind group. Hire a coach. Connect with a program that supports every baby step and giant leap.

An accountability buddy is someone who agrees to be a “check-in” space for you, a lifeline, and who agrees to check-up on you, if they don’t hear from you. Stay connected. No hiding!

It is important to ask someone who believes in you and who will challenge you to keep going during the good times and the rough times. Usually they do this for free or as part of a barter agreement. Maybe you are their accountability buddy or you exchange an area of your expertise with them.

You may decide to pay to join a master mind group or hire a coach. A master mind group challenges you to set goals, brainstorms with you, shares information, ideas, inspiration and has regularly scheduled accountability calls or meetings. A coach can lead a group or work with you individually on your intentions and each step.

Look at your intentions for the year. Will it support you to hire a professional to advise, reflect, mentor, or even open doors to new information as you create your vision for the year? Are you willing to invest in yourself? You are worth it!

For example, you may hire a wellness coach to support you in improving your health or a business coach to guide you in building a new business.

One tip about support. There is a difference between people supporting you and people “approving” of you. Filter through the ideas and opinions of others to find the answers that resonate with you. Which ones challenge you with excitement and an increase in energy?

Expect fear that stretches you, not paralyzes you with inaction.

My Dream Team of Support in 2015 includes:

*2 Coaches

*A Board of Directors: Executive Board, Core Board and Advisory Board

*A yearly spiritual course in a sacred on-line space that expands my mind,

*Heal My Voice book circles and member group

and a variety of friends I can reach out to for a phone call now and then, fitness teachers, and experts who I watch and listen to on social media, free teleseminars, youtube videos, newsletters, and media sources, like film, tv and radio.

Set up your support team now and continue to review it every month. What is working? What do you need? Where do you need to make changes to stay on course with your intentions?

What does your Support Team look like this Year?

We want to hear you Voice! Post in the comments!

Are You On Track?

By Andrea Hylen

In this series of blogs about intentions, so far, we have picked a few words for the year as a guidepost of focus. We have started making conscious choices with each step we take in the direction of our words and now it is time to create a system to stay on track all year long.

3. Create a system to see if you are on track

Setting up a weekly or monthly ritual with yourself for regular assessment and a review to check to see if you are in alignment with your intentions.

Are the choices you are making pointing you in the direction you want to go?

Make a coffee date with yourself, a walk in nature, a bubble bath to slow down and connect with yourself to discover more about who you are and where you are going with your vision for the year.

As the New year begins and my intentions are new and fresh, I have noticed that I am making choices in slow motion. The choices and the assessment are happening moment by moment. Taking baby steps. I am exercising a new muscle of awareness. It is a practice like meditation or yoga. I ask myself questions throughout the day to assess what is happening in the moment. Even congratulating myself for going to yoga class to stretch my body or arranging a movie date for fun. Yeah me!

I know as the year begins to accelerate, there will be peak times where I may not be as conscious in the moment. To stay connected, I mark it on my calendar as a weekly question, such as:

Are you on track?

Is this the life you want to lead?

Wealth, self-care, visibility…how are you doing?

Post the questions on your calendar or on your refrigerator or bathroom mirror that helps you make adjustments, just like the archer who has drawn back the bow and is ready to release the arrow.

Then once a month, I make a date with myself. To spend a longer more focused time to slow down , feel the feelings, consciously readjust my arrow, plan the next steps and take inspired action.

How do you stay on track with your intentions and goals for the year?

What systems do you use for your personal life? your business?

Post in the comments. We want to hear your voice!

Are You Making Conscious Choices?

By Andrea Hylen

Continuing with the theme of setting intentions for 2015…

2. Make choices in alignment with your intentions

After you pick some words for the year to set an intentional focus, it is time to make choices. Step by step each choice you make keeps you on the path of your intentions or takes you in another direction.

As I look at the words I have chosen for this year, here are some of the choices I am making this week.

Wealth:

*Conversations with collaborative partnerships in 2015 to set the calendar for classes, promotions and marketing, like blogging and live events in March.

*Follow-up with the Board President and Vice President about our website updates

*Promoting programs on Twitter and Facebook

*Starting a new savings account

Self-Care:

*Daily nap while visiting family in Florida

*Increasing water consumption

*Two movie dates with my daughter and mother (FUN!)

*Eating slowly

*Yoga class 2 days

*Walking in nature

*Hot tub

Visibility:

*Noticing how I feel in all of the conversations with family

*Listening, observing and practicing new ways of interacting with people

*Going to church with my father, mother and daughter

What choices are you making to stay aligned with your intentions for the year?

Post in comments. We want to hear your voice!

What is Your Word for 2015?

By Andrea Hylen

Yesterday I talked about setting intentions for the year instead of resolutions and picking words to keep your arrow pointed in a direction that supports your vision for the year.

I picked three words this year.

*Wealth

*Self-Care

*Visibility

Wealth has me focused on:

*building a stronger financial structure for Heal My Voice so we can keep the programming affordable and support the healing of more people.

*building a stronger financial structure of support for myself so I can be and do more in the world.

*alternative sources for money like shared economy, corporate sponsors, conversations around money and resources to open the box to infinite possibilities.

Self-care has me focused on:

*Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of my life

*Organic food, regular exercise with variety

*Fun

*Physical Touch

*Daily meditation

*Balance of time to connect with myself and others

*Pampering with haircuts, pedicures, massage

*Nourishing connections with people

*Getting off the merry-go-round conversations that are spinning circles of criticism, victim and martyrdom without processing and resolution

Visibility has me focused on:

*Stepping into a bigger mentor and teacher role

*Being me, everywhere I go

*Knowing when to listen and observe.

*Knowing when to speak my words out loud

*Increasing Heal My Voice LIVE events in libraries, bookstores, living rooms, radio shows and blogs providing opportunities for conversations, idea sharing and increased understanding

What are your words for 2015? Post in the comments and let us hear your voice.